


sunflower

by marblemugs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Fluff, Johnyong, M/M, fluffy as fuck, i love johnyong ok, i love sunflowers, oblivious johnny, wait can i even describe them like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 03:21:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18357566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marblemugs/pseuds/marblemugs
Summary: even when johnny forgets, the sunflowers remember.





	sunflower

**Author's Note:**

> hello...this is my brainchild that i made because i like sunflowers...that's the only reason LOL
> 
> (also this was originally written with two female characters so if there are female pronouns im sorry im an imbecile)

johnny is eight years old when the boy gives him the first sunflower he's ever seen in his life. at eight, he's just a kid who'd grown up playing games on his nintendo ds and spending as little time as possible with his nosy little brother. 

he almost turns it down - after all, what use does he have for a sunflower? but the boy is so tiny, and his eyes are big and sparkly, and his mom had always told him to be nice to little kids. so he takes the flower, mumbles an awkward 'thank you', and watches the little boy scamper away. 

 

johnny is nine years old when the boy gives him another sunflower. they'd grown close since the first one - johnny saw him nearly every day at the park when he walked home from school. the boy always waved, and johnny waved back, and one day the boy leapt down the play structure to walk home with him. 

"are you following me?" 

"no," the boy bounced alongside him. "i'm walking you home." 

"why?" 

"to make sure you're safe," there's a wink of mischief in his eyes, the same little twinkle johnny’s brother has. 

"won't your mom wonder where you went?" 

"no, i'm by myself." 

and so every day from then on out the boy walks him home. johnny learns a lot about him, in the ten minutes they spend together each day - the boy is a year younger than johnny, and his name is taeyong, and he can’t speak english, and his favorite color is yellow, and he wants cotton candy colored hair. 

 

johnny is ten when the boy gives him a third sunflower. he asks taeyong where the flowers come from, and taeyong’s cheeks bloom with a rosy pink. 

"my parents grow them," he answers bashfully, ducking so his eyes are on the ground. "we...we have a flower field. my parents are - well, they call themselves  _ florists _ , but that's just a fancy word to say they sell flowers. and they only let me pick one flower for myself when the new blooms come, and i like sunflowers, and..."

"and?" 

"i don't know," taeyong giggles, light and cheerful. "i just like sunflowers." 

 

johnny is eleven when taeyong gives him a fourth sunflower. 

taeyong has tears in his eyes, and johnny’s heart immediately sinks, because he's used to seeing fireflies in those eyes. he's never seen taeyong sad. 

"are you okay?" he asks. taeyong nods, but refuses to meet johnny’s eyes, gaze trailing the ground the whole way home. johnny feels sick to his stomach. 

when they reach johnny’s house taeyong hesitates to leave, toeing the ground for a moment. johnny waits, inexplicably. he's not sure why he's waiting. usually he goes inside immediately when he gets home, but something feels off about taeyong today.

taeyong throws his arms around him, hugs him tight. 

"bye," taeyong whispers. 

"...bye," johnny answers uncertainly. "i'll see you tomorrow?" 

"yeah," taeyong nods, and something  _ still _ doesn't feel right. johnny can't put his finger on it, and when he turns to leave, he finds himself watching taeyong walk away until he turns the corner and he's out of sight. 

 

johnny is twelve the first time he misses a sunflower. he sits on the porch of his house for hours the day before his thirteenth birthday, waiting hopelessly for taeyong to come bouncing down the street, sunflower in hand. 

he doesn't. taeyong hasn't come for a long time. 

when the sun is all the way down, his mom opens the front door and calls him inside. asks him why he's so sad on his birthday. he can't explain - his mom had never met taeyong. he tries anyways. his mom doesn't understand, but she does her best to be empathetic. she even lets johnny have ice cream before bed. 

 

johnny is thirteen when he forgets. 

 

johnny is sixteen when he's assigned to the seat next to the new student. he's halfway through high school, and he's done pretty well for himself, sitting next to his best friend in homeroom. 

johnny doesn't like him. he's fidgety, and nervous, and he can never hear anything the kid says. his name is taeyong, and johnny wonders where he'd heard that name before. taeyong watches johnny with hesitant, guarded eyes, and johnny doesn't like how he feels scrutinized. he wants his seat next to yuta back.

that day, there's a sunflower in his locker. he throws it away. 

 

johnny is seventeen when he sees taeyong walking home on the other side of the street. he drags his feet, and hangs his head, and johnny wonders if he's ever seen taeyong smile. probably not. 

the only thing that pushes him towards jogging across the road is the anxious flicking of taeyong’s fingers. he's seen yuta do that before, and he'd caught yuta literal seconds before he attempted suicide. yuta said it was a coping mechanism, that there was so much nervous energy built up inside of him that had to go somewhere. and johnny can't let that go, not in good conscience. no matter how much he dislikes taeyong and his strange, hermit-like ways, he won't turn a blind eye.

"hey," johnny struggles a bit to fall in step with him - taeyong is absolutely tiny and walks much, much slower. 

"hi," taeyong answers, so softly johnny almost doesn't catch it. taeyong doesn't look up. johnny bets that taeyong can identify people by their shoes, with how often his eyes are on the floor. 

"do you mind if i walk you home?" 

"wh - why?" 

"to make sure you get back safe. y'know one of the girls from school got kidnapped a few months ago. they found her, thank god, but i...i don't want that to happen to you if i can help it." 

it's a pretty good lie. there  _ was _ a kidnapping, after all, and they're familiar enough with each other that it's not weird for him to pick up conversation out of nowhere. 

taeyong’s quiet all the way home. his house is a two-story, but it sticks out from the others on the street less because it's the tallest house on the block and more because the house looks oddly unkempt on the outside. the front lawn is overgrown, and the vines that are supposed to cover the fence are tangled over the side door.

"thank you," taeyong whispers, glancing up for the first time since they began walking together fifteen minutes ago. oh, he's  _ pretty _ . johnny spots the faintest twinkle in his eyes. 

"no problem," he answers, and taeyong’s fingers aren't twitching anymore, and his head isn't facing the ground. johnny counts it a win. 

so every day on their fifteen-minute walk home johnny tries to coax more out of him. taeyong never wants to answer, and sometimes johnny feels like he's talking to a wall - taeyong meets most of johnny’s questions with silence. 

"how old are you, anyways?" johnny asks, because homeroom has mixed grades, so he can never be sure. 

"sixteen," taeyong answers quietly. "but i'm a junior. same as you." 

"you're pretty young, for a junior." 

"yeah, i know. pretty small, too." 

johnny doesn't realize taeyong had cracked a joke until he catches sight of him smiling to himself. johnny decides he likes it when taeyong smiles, and makes it a personal goal to make him smile more. taeyong’s still a mystery, keeps to himself more than johnny would like for him to - but it's progress. 

 

johnny is eighteen and two days away from graduating when taeyong gives him a sunflower. 

"thank you," taeyong says, coral flushing beautifully over his cheeks. "for - for everything." 

"oh," johnny breathes. he's surprised when he looks up and taeyong’s eyes meet his, wide and warm and the happiest he's ever seen them. "it's nothing, really." 

"i, um," he pulls his lower lip between his teeth, a habit johnny knows comes from nervousness. taeyong thinks hard, brows furrowing, and johnny waits. "actually - actually, nevermind." 

when they graduate he notices that taeyong’s alone, sitting on the side of the field with his diploma clutched to his chest, watching everyone else celebrate their moments of high school. no parents, no friends...nothing. johnny wonders if that's why taeyong had attached to him so quickly. 

"hold on, mom," he pushes his mom's wrist away gently when she tries to drag him into another picture. "i gotta do something really quick. i'll be back." 

"taeyong!" he jogs to where taeyong is, and his head turns. when his eyes land on him the corners of his lips lift just the slightest. 

"hi, johnny." 

"hey, where're your p - " he stops, deciding it's probably not a good time for that question, and shifting gears. "do you wanna meet my brother?" 

"okay," taeyong agrees, standing. johnny wraps an arm around his bony shoulders, guiding him through the crowd. taeyong would get lost, navigating through it herself with how little he is. 

his family is visibly confused when he comes back, and taeyong glances up at him uncertainly. johnny doesn't flinch. 

"hyuckie, c'mere," johnny beckons for his brother. "come meet my friend. 's taeyong." 

"hey, taeyong," hyuckie is much, much less intimidating than johnny at first glance. he must be in middle school, taeyong thinks, judging by the way his jaw is still soft and he's still got baby fat on his cheeks. "i've never seen you before." 

"i don't get out much," he murmurs in response, glancing away. johnny tightens his arm around taeyong, pulling him away to meet his mom. 

"mom, mumma, mother, mommy dearest," johnny chirps. "come meet my friend. this is taeyong. taeyong, this is my mom." 

"h - hello," he says. he looks scared, and he's hesitant when he reaches out to shake his mom's hand. he shifts on his heels, and johnny thinks taeyong knows something that he doesn't. 

"mumma, he's the one who gave me the sunflower," johnny continues. his mom nods, and taeyong ducks his head to the ground. 

"you took him away from his family?" his mom means to joke, but johnny feels taeyong stiffen up under his arm. 

"no, i..." johnny’s not sure where the boundaries are. taeyong fills in. 

"my family's not here," taeyong answers, sweet and soft, and johnny sees his mom's face fall. he's lucky to have such strong bonds with his family. "and i, uh, don't really...know very many people." 

"well, why don't you eat lunch with us?" his mom offers, stepping up immediately. "there's so many of us one more won't make a difference, anyways. to celebrate your graduation." 

"it's okay, really, i -" 

"no, we'd love to have you! yuta’ll be there, too, so you won't be the only straggler we're picking up." 

 

 

johnny is nineteen and enrolled in community college when taeyong calls him in tears. he's never heard taeyong cry before, and the poor boy is so choked up on the other end that johnny can't even make out what he's saying. 

"baby," johnny coos, trying to soothe him as best he can. "don't cry, baby. tell me what's wrong." 

taeyong cries harder. johnny's throat tightens, chest constricting painfully. he's usually so bright. he says the only thing he can think of.

"stay in your dorm. i'm coming." 

the university is thirty minutes away from home, and so it’s a while before johnny arrives. but the moment he opens the door taeyong crumples into his chest, a mess of tears and whimpers and apologies. his roommate isn't there, and johnny is glad.

"what's wrong, baby? c'mon, let's -" johnny closes the door behind him, tugs taeyong to the tiny, one-person bed. taeyong shudders as he breathes, fingers wrapped vice-tight in his hoodie. it pains johnny physically to see him so upset. "here. just lay with me for a bit, okay?" 

taeyong won't tell him what happened. for the first time ever johnny accommodates as taeyong searches for comfort, buries his tear-streaked face into johnny’s neck and refuses to let him go. for the first time ever johnny realizes that taeyong needs him more than he wanted to admit. 

there's a sunflower in his mailbox the next day.

 

johnny is twenty when taeyong gives him more than one sunflower - a whole bouquet of sunflowers. johnny thinks back to his expression at graduation, the way he'd looked like he knew something that johnny didn't. 

"what're you thinking about?" johnny cradles taeyong’s jaw, and taeyong nuzzles into his palm. he's learned by now that taeyong loves affection, and johnny doesn't mind giving it to him. they've grown so close he can't remember living without taeyong tucked under his arm. 

"mm," he breathes. "'bout when i was a kid." 

"what about it?" 

"nothing important." 

"you’re making a face like it's important." 

taeyong’s quiet for a moment, and johnny takes the opportunity to card his fingers through taeyong’s cotton candy pink hair. taeyong all but melts into johnny’s embrace.

"when i was a little kid," and johnny basks in the soothing sound of his voice, even and comforting like the california tide. "i...i used to live here. before we moved away, i mean. i used to play at the park every day, and there was a boy there, i used to walk him home from school because he always went by himself and i wanted to make sure he made it safe. i used to give him a sunflower, every time they bloomed, 'cause my parents were florists. 

"and then...my, uh...my parents were murdered. i got shipped off to an orphanage, and then thrown into foster care, and my foster parents were..." he swallows thickly. "not - not great. and so i moved back here, with my aunt, who...who was less than enthusiastic to have me." 

taeyong’s lips twist up into a soft, wry smile. "i remember him very well, the boy i gave my sunflowers to. i know he's forgotten about me already, but i'm grateful nonetheless. he was my constant, even though i was being thrown around like tumbleweed. he still is." 

"do you miss him?"

"no, not particularly..." taeyong forces out a laugh, and it sounds almost painful. "it's not hard to cope." 

"tell me more, baby. what was his name?" 

taeyong pulls back, looks johnny straight in the eye. they sparkle, filled with mischief and knowledge that johnny doesn't have. 

"johnny." 

 

johnny is twenty one when he kisses taeyong for the first time. taeyong’s wrapped up in a carnation yellow blanket, watching captain marvel on johnny’s sofa. he'd long since been adopted into the suh family, merged into their huge clan. taeyong brings them sunflowers sometimes, and pours his love into johnny.

"took you long enough," taeyong giggles, pulling johnny down for more. johnny can't get enough. taeyong’s intoxicating. 

"love you," johnny breathes, nosing into his cheek. "'m sorry i forgot." 

"it's alright. you were a kid." 

"yeah, but so were you. and you remembered."

"i love you," taeyong stretches up, kisses johnny squarely on the nose, smiles so, so brightly. "all is forgiven so long as you never forget me ever again."

johnny doesn’t plan on it.


End file.
